In the early dawn when the rich blue sky began to get painted with tangerine and then to golden cast over the sky. On a bright winter morning I was gazing into the hues and the colors of nature while trying to get my mood set for the day with a suitable song from my playlist. Fishing out one song out of 100s of the collection was becoming challenging. I was feeling the joy of cool winter morning breeze, plugged in earphones and engrossed in search of my song for the day. While I was at that she walked in, into the balcony looking like a diva and conveniently neglecting my presence there. She might have thought I was busy listening to something with my headphones on but I was silently sitting there, putting my feet firmly on the railing of the balcony, shut my eyes from the brightness of the golden sun rays and my head swung laid back onto the wall. The lazy and joyful way of basking in the winter morning sun. She walked in humming the evergreen “Sriman Narayana” keerthana. She was this devotee at that time who would lose herself in the world of music and give her musical offering to the lord she believed in. The faint humming of “Sriman Narayana” soulful rendering like a little girl who was estranged from the world and the only thing she knew was her lord. This humming was my musical retreat of that day and for a few days after that.
The humming reached my ears faintly, but entered in my head, echoing, giving me a sense of peace in chaos. Except for the echoing voice, everything around goes mute for a brief moment. The entire time that I was listening her humming with my closed eyes I could only feel a small kid practicing her song on a loop until she didn’t please her lord and I was not getting enough of it. But later when I got up and saw her made me wonder. What must be the reason that her lord made me meet her? Was it only to experience this rendering which I could get from the public platform? The privilege to experience the bliss and unmasked soulful renderings. But I doubt that it was the only reason.
They say every person you meet in your life has something to teach you. Some teach life lessons, there are some who teach you how not to be and then their those rare few who do not teach anything directly but you learn yourself just by observing them. The 11-year-old mischievous kid whom I have seen enjoying every second of the time with her clan, is also the wise grown up; she knows what volumes of the strengths she carries on within herself. On the other hand, someone like me growing up decently privileged kid and the struggles that I made was merely for better universities and scholarships. Lucky enough to have not been challenged with real life hurdles and when something that felt as much like a bleak conflict I choose to retreat into a shell and shut myself aloof from the outer world with no traces of returning back to the same paths. Some may call it chickening out or not strong enough to face the consequences. But I have a whole different reason towards that and yet again, as it is said some people don’t teach you anything, it’s just their lifestyle that they practice teaches you tons without even saying a word.
I got the chance to spend the entire day around her, she was simply herself the funny, chirpy and chatty self. Seeing her this unmasked and pure at heart with her own people made me think how deep was she able to do that with no baggage to carry? Or was it that she mastered the skill of compartmentalizing. The public person that she is, it never is a cherry on top and there should be a pile of tantrums, shake downs and choice words from the public forums. But irrespective of that; how could she choose to be so strong. May be being strong was only the option she ever knew for herself and kept protecting her inner sanctity while walking through the tough times that life kept throwing at her. The aloof me who pushes away people miles apart needed to learn to embrace the situation while sorting it out and protect my own inner self to not get tainted in the process. Perhaps this was the learning of life that I had to learn for myself just by being around & observing her. May be this was the reason her lord made me meet her. And just like that in every silent moment, she would start humming something or the other, but in my head, I was replaying the very first humming of “Sriman Narayana” for the rest of the day and a few more days later….
“She channels her hurdles into the spirits of a lioness…
Not the kind that roars letting it out, but the kind who turns the pain into self-love gaining the strengths from the weakest of situations…
She takes her adversities & swiftly turn them into her advantages becoming stronger more than before…”