It made me feel home way back once

Lavanya Addepalli
2 min readJan 31, 2022

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He was standing there and observing me with a stranger’s gaze, an aloof judgment with no strings. I continue staring at him with eyes full of tears, and yet I need to remain centered. That stupid rope of hope is everything within the heart while the logical brain knows love is merely an illusion of a carefree relationship that never existed, and I keep staring at him. But again, who is he to me now? And why won’t he move from here? I turn back, close my eye, and see his peaceful face with a warm smile that melts my heart. He takes in those brown eyes so warm and safe; it made me feel home way back once and at peace as if the world stopped on the axis, and now I even wondered who he was?

He was good at first. Nobody suspected a thing, and he was everything you could’ve ever needed for a person to be. Only when he gained your confidence, when you received a bond so deep, you couldn’t carry away, that’s when the devil came out. He didn’t need any weapons to hurt you; just a word, and you were crying at his feet, begging him to stay. You blindly believed it; he won’t get away. The mere thought that he could leave was enough to make you beg him. This was insane, and he knew it. He recognized he made you an addict to his painful words, hits, and sweet words right after. He was your torturer, your pain disguised as an angel. And yet when you were weeping on the floor, wondering why and praying the pain to end, you still fucking love him.”

The echoing words in my head made sense to many levels, and I was just lost in myself. And…. I need to re-introduce myself all over again….

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Lavanya Addepalli

“Wandering Researcher” .. Student by profession... Human by heart with clusters in brain.. Travel & Music Lover, Foodie, Ghost Writer