I felt like I found my herd

Lavanya Addepalli
4 min readApr 25, 2020

In the times where everything is just so fast and instant where it looks like those people who were joined at the hips become strangers in no time. On a breezy evening in an unexpected situation and circumstances where it was not my business to be present there, I happened to meet her. Without any plans at times we just fall in the wrong place and wrong time where you happen to tag along with your friends. Yes, you are friends with your friends you are present in a situation with strangers or may be people who know you just by name is pretty much an odd place to be. Precisely the odd feeling gets more when this hardly known person happens to be a people’s person. The person whom you have only seen on a screen and may be spoken countable times. So being there that evening was definitely a wrong timing. While I was tagging along with my friends with a bundle of inhibitions and insecurities of meeting a person that too on a friendly front felt heavy as it can get to anyone. It’s a surprise to have such a heavy feeling, whereas on the contrary, people get excited and jump around like a jack when they are going to meet a celebrity that too in a friendly space.

As we were reaching her place there were a few instances, I mentioned to my friends, maybe it was not the right time to meet or maybe I should meet in a social circumstance that would be respectful of her. A creepy feeling, I carried in me of myself that maybe I was taking an advantage of the reach or maybe I was just letting myself get embarrassed. It was not how my friends portrayed, but it was somewhere my preconceived notion based on the public appearance where people tend to protect themselves from the bitterness they face in the society. I had no say but just to follow my friends, but I was making up in my mind that I would be just exchanging the pleasantries and simply cook up some excuse and take my leave and get back to my place. We reached the door was not locked and my friends swung it open, they all walked directly inside I was a bit hesitant to go so I took a little slow step and tried to keep my distance but eventually I had to go in as I was called. Some other friends whom my friends knew were already inside chit chatting got introduced to them and I was enjoying the fun chit chat all of them were having as a new comer all I could do was listen and smile. A minute after another she was not to be seen around and I was thinking I should leave once I meet and exchange my “hellos”. We all were sitting may be like a circle and she walked into the room, when realized I stood up and turned to face her.

There she was dressed in white so serene and wearing a broad smile. I was hesitant to leave from my place and I just smiled and said hello. But she wasn’t going to just take that she walked to me with open arms to hug me, yet it was a social hug but that was new to me. A person like me who is rigid and keeps my distance with people someone coming to me with open arms was definitely a sweet surprise to react to. Seeing her there with open arms felt as if she is open with her heart and warm enough to welcome a new person. Looking at her like that and the way she kept chit chatting later it felt like as If I knew her my entire life and I was just restricting myself for nothing. The facet that she wears on the screen or in public was never to be seen on that day. It was a bit difficult to leave in the middle all of a sudden, but again I did try to and again I couldn’t. Sometimes, without your knowledge even the nature conspires to some things to happen and all of sudden heavy rain started with thunder and lightning. With such a storm, the electrical power went off so there absolutely was no point in me leaving anymore.

She simply got up and started lighting up the candles and created an ambiance whereas I was hoping like any other urban clan all of them would start bickering about the power going off. The crimson, orange color of the candle the shadows and the reflections just washed off my inhibitions. The choice of scented candles a blend of berries and lavender took me back a few years when I used to have the same collections of scented candles. It was simply the gesture and the way everyone took the darkness and made a memorable time out of it. As time passed it felt like old Polaroid pictures were being developed, slow and nice filled with fun and laughter around. I was glad that my friends made me meet her and she made me part of that late evening and I had a memory etched in the back of my head. A feeling of content with no wish to have another such moment, maybe it was to turn into a friendship that might last a life long or maybe will remain just like a memory to which I can go back and find myself smiling for a moment. But apart from all thoughts I felt like I had found my herd….

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Lavanya Addepalli

“Wandering Researcher” .. Student by profession... Human by heart with clusters in brain.. Travel & Music Lover, Foodie, Ghost Writer